Dressing as a woman in the outside world
Do you really want to go outside into the world and move freely dressed as a woman, living as a woman and blend into your new role
Is this more important to you than the act of dressing up itself
Are you open to advice on how to dress what’s appropriate, what’s not and what’s OTT
Or is what you want to wear the most important factor in your life choice? If when creating your fantasy woman, your inner you, the woman you always dreamed of becoming with high heels, long hair, red lipstick and stockings this is where you think womanhood begins and ends then you are going to be very disappointed and will find it hard to come out into the world
Many clients of mine who are over 35 need to be re-educated to the fact that the woman they dreamed of becoming for so long isn’t going to make it out there in public. She will draw unwanted attention, cruel remarks, feel uncomfortable and ultimately make herself unhappy
You may have formed your ideas of how you want to look as your female self over many years – this is probably the type of woman you found attractive and you aspired to when you were in your teens but that woman is no longer current. She would have grown older as have you – fashions have changed and moved on – the role of women in today’s society has evolved - you need to do the same if you want to pass in public
We can all dream of looking like someone else but if it looks silly it’s a waste of time – you have to work with what god gave you and that should be just fine
If you cannot evolve past the fantasy, then you will find it hard to break into the outside world and live your life as a female
If you seriously want to go out and mingle then you will need to become far more open in how you perceive what a woman is and how you become one outwardly
- Too feminine – women are not all flouncy and girlie – women are strong, productive members of society – wear make up but tone it down during the day – use sunglasses to finish your look in summer rather than full eyeshadow and lashes - don’t always carry a handbag and don’t always wear heels or stockings – women wear socks and trainers too
- Too sexy – don’t fall into the trap of trying to be all woman all of the time – women work, they graft, they do get their hands dirty, they need to dress appropriately and project themselves onto others with the right message – so do you. If not, you will draw negative attention to yourself and that’s not what you want. Generally, women don’t dress up overtly sexily when going to work or going shopping they dress for respect and comfort
- Daytime nails - light neutral colours which don’t draw attention to your hands but look finished and chic
- Comfortable clothing – women do wear comfy clothes and not just dresses and heels. Women don’t want to be holding their breath all day in a tight fitting dress. Try flowy skirts, pumps, walking shoes, leggings and baggy tops, softer colours
Trousers - Please remember women do wear trousers! Women fought for the right to wear trousers just as they fought for the right to vote - Jeans, palazzo pants and gaucho style shorts are also good – loose t shirts and longer knee length shorts in summer
Handbag - Don’t always carry a handbag in your hand or on your arm – try a cross body bag or even a back pack over 1 shoulder Style - Do look at what’s in fashion and dress 10 years younger than you are – no woman wants to look her age.
General dressing – try to avoid wearing black especially all black – add colour into your outfits but please avoid black and red unless its evening - it’s so stereotypical is extremely vampish and doesn’t look particularly flattering on most wom
Jewellery – minimal subtle pieces in the day
Hair – If you have long hair then you must keep in in tip top condition and have it professionally cut. If you wear a wig, try and choose less harsh styles and wear 2 or 3 shades lighter than your natural hair shade. It will appear more youthful and less harsh. Straight cut fringes, bob styled cuts, overly long wigs will not flatter the more masculine bone structure of the face - softer messier styles with a more tousled finish will soften your features and give you a more feminine look. If in doubt go for a light brown base colour with some blonde highlights that is shoulder length – this suits most people’s skin and natural hair colour. If you can afford one do buy a lace front wig which gives the appearance of a real hair line and enables you to play with your hair whilst in public i.e. pulling your fringe back of your eyes or tossing your head back and when you reach the stage that you need to wear a wig all the time invest in a real hair wig preferably European hair as its finer and suits us Westerners better
Make up – the same rules apply – daytime use neural natural tones and a light slightly glossy lip colour. Light brown. Light purple or grey eye liner as opposed to black and not too much of it. Invest in a colour correcting concealer palette and learn how to use it
Carrying yourself - many of you may be taller in statue than the average woman but you can still carry yourself with confidence. Please don’t continuously walk with your head down hiding behind your hair – this is a real give away you must be proud of who you are.
Always remember women have hang ups and dislikes about their appearance too, not every woman is beautiful, thin, tall, busty – no woman can look 100% everyday
Take female advice - Advice given by women you trust concerning your female appearance is probably good advice so listen to it and implement it – you may not always like it but its given with good intent
Remember to look after your skin by moisturising and exfoliating and use hand cream as much as possible
If you want inspiration and ideas on what to wear and when to wear it – just look around you – women are everywhere – let them guide you into your new world
Shelley